The (not-so) Great Minnesota Get-Together 2005

Just because people around here will start asking me the following question starting tomorrow "Steve, so... you goin' to the Fair?" for the next 2 weeks. The answer is "NO!":

I'll probably get a lot of shit for this post, but never-the-less I'm posting it anyways! Also, let me say that I have nothing against people who visit the Fair, or the state or people of Minnesota, this is solely my opionion, so take-it-or-leave-it (as the Strokes would say).

The Minnesota State Fair starts tomorrow, 8/25/05, and runs through US Labor Day, 9/5/05. Yes, that long, unfortuntately!

For those of you who are not familiar with "The Fair"... it's held at the MN State Fair Grounds once a year and here are the 5 main things that bother me about the event:

• Can I pay a "cover charge" to eat food? Yes, it is really good and very unhealthy (mostly greasy) food. I have nothing against the food aspect, however paying $9.00 to get in, bothers me, which doesn't even include parking. Just go to what's called a "Restaurant" instead?...

• Yes, farm animals are fun to look at. However, again, you don't need to pay a cover for that!??? Go to the Zoo (and you can see way cooler animals for about the same price) or drive a 1/2 hour out of the city...

• According to the local news the Minnesota State Fair is as big as the 2nd coming of Christ, every year!

• Since I work in the area of the fair... the traffic sucks! I can't even make it to a local restaurant under 20 minutes... I guess I should "brown bag" it for the next couple of weeks... I wish I had somethinge to "brown bag"?

• So we come to the music line-up. Wow, it gets worse every year, I swear:

Thu 8/25: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
Fri 8/26: Motley Crue
Sat 8/27: Sawyer Brown, Great Big Sea
Sun 8/28: Lynyrd Skynyrd (Cancelled!)
Mon 8/29: Ryan Cabrera
Tue 8/30: James Taylor
Wed 8/31: Martina McBride
Thu 9/1: Rascal Flatts
Fri 9/2: A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor
Sat 9/3: REO Speedwagon, Styx
Sun 9/4: Amateur Talent Contest Finals
Mon 9/5: Switchfoot

• OK, a couple of these are ok (however most would be considered torture even in Iraq, just ask Saddam!). However, where's the local talent? I thought this is the "Minnesota State Fair"? Where are Bob Mould, Soul Asylum, Gear Daddies, The Hopefuls, Vicious Vicious, Robotboy, etc (do I need to go on)... What a joke!?

I think I'll stop here... I don't want everybody in Minnesota mad at me and/or spitting in my food (at least not at the same time!). All I'm trying to say... The Minnesota State Fair could do a lot better... I should be in charge!

P.S. The only day I would consider "maybe" going would be the final day, 9/5/05, as it's MPR Day, featuring live-sets by The Hang Ups and Cloud Cult. As always check out The Current, arguably the best radio station in the US.

P.P.S. Since I've never seen anybody else write anything remotely critizising the State Fair... if you don't hear from me in the next 3 days, it means the State Fair Gestapo came and got me, and fed me to Minnesota's largest pig!